Shards of memories, like glass
by emilyann1021
Summary: Dean dreams of hell, his night goes from terror to something of love. Warning: Destiel.


Disclaimer: Not my boys, just my story

Summary: Dean dreams of hell, his night goes from terror to something of love. Destiel.

**Shards of memories, like glass**

Dean was shivering and shaking when he woke. It was the nightmares again, of hell. They plagued dean, and wrapped around his thoughts like blankets of darkness; pulling tighter on his mind. This one in particular he'd been having a lot of recently. It was about him finally giving in and saying 'yes' to Alastair. A lonely tear slid down Dean's cheek and he was ashamed of it. _He'd_ been the one to say 'yes', _he'd _been the one to give in. Even he didn't deserve his tears. He wiped it furiously, dragging a hand down his face when more threatened the bloodshot sockets. Dean sat up and threw back the cheap motel sheets, checked on Sam, then left the room silent again. Dean opened the door to the Impala and got inside, he reached to turn on the ignition when he realized he left the keys inside the room. This on top of everything else that night got to him and he hit his hand as hard as possible against the steering wheel. Accepting the pain that came with it. He let himself cry, curling in on himself until he was in a ball so tight any more and he would turn into a star. Dean's breath was ragged and shaky as it hitched multiple times in his throat. He started shivering. Shuddering against the leather seats, shuddering against his t-shirt, shuddering against his denim jeans, and shuddering against his own grasp and hold. A hand so soft and gentle touched Dean's arm for a second Dean thought he was imagining it.

"Oh, Dean." The voice whispered, it slowly began pulling Dean's arms away. He resisted, but the hold was firm. Dean was too weak from sobbing to protest, and he allowed himself to straighten. Two fingers lifted his chin, emerald eyes meeting light blue ones. "Cas-" Dean broke into tears again; suddenly, he was being pressed into a chest. It was warm, hand wrapped around his back cocooning him in protection. The voice shushed quietly while a soothing hand mused his hair, and another rubbed his back. "You are not in that place anymore Dean, you are out. You are safe." Dean shook his head furiously, "I'm t-there whenever I-I close m-my e-eyes." The hold on him tightened, "It's okay Dean, I'm here."

"No no no no. It's n-not o-okay! I said y-yes...I was t-to w-weak to say n-no. I failed e-everyone." Dean let out everything he'd kept hidden after returning from hell. He breath was shamed from the putrid mouth it penetrated, his words humiliated to belong to his regretful body. Castiel, upon reading his thoughts, was appalled by them. "Dean you are the strongest man I have ever know. Yes," Castiel said when Dean started shaking his head, "you are everything I want to be. You are honest, loyal, capable, loving. You are the most beautiful person I have had the privilege of knowing. You are truly amazing." Dean was astonished by the loving words, more so when Castiel pressed his lips lightly to the hunters. At first Dean didn't respond, but once he felt the soft lips move against his own; the recessive feelings surfacing. After a few moments Castiel broke away. Dean stared in wonder at the angel, he didn't have a single inclination that Castiel expressed these feelings. The angel pulled him back down, Dean's head resting in the crook of Castiel's neck. "You are so beautiful do not stain your face, hand-crafted by God, with tears if shame. I do not blame you for what you did in hell Dean, never forget that." Dean blearily glanced up at him, "How? I was too weak not to give in." Castiel gently cupped the side of Dean's face in his hand, the other still around his shoulders. "I love you Dean. You are never weak in my eyes." Dean blinked before processing the uttered words, "You love me?" Castiel kissed him softly again, rubbing away the pain formed by salty tears painting his lovers face a vibrant pink. "I love you too." The angel smiled at this and continued holding his hunter. After what seemed like hours Dean was starting to doze off in Castiel's arms. He kept fighting it, not wanting to see the horrible memories again.

"You can sleep now Dean." Dean shuddered lightly, Castiel felt this and lifted his chin to see the hunters eyes. "I don't want to go back there again." Castiel shook his head and placed a tender kiss to the mans forehead. "You won't, I promise. Let peaceful pictures fill your mind, dreams. I will be here when you wake up and will be here in your slumber." Dean leaned into the sudden warmth enveloping him. Castiel's grace was giving him a sense of serenity and calm. Dean relaxed and Castiel once again started rubbing his back. "Don't leave." Dean mumbled tiredly, he was slipping off into a world without worries, without fear, without regret, with Cas. Castiel admired the man in his arms, "I will never leave you, now close you eyes to fantasies of small heaven blissful existence. I love you."

**Reviews please!:):)**


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